I hate to admit it, but what people think about me really matters to me. So, when people criticise me, it hurts. Now, I know without any hesitation that some of the criticism I get is well deserved- in fact, it is probably not that hard to find faults in who I am and what I do. There are times that I am very appreciative of constructive criticism if I know and understand the heart of the one who gives it, but most of the time, that is not the case. Typically, though, I can be alone, think about it and accept it as constructive.
Sometimes, however, the criticism is ridiculous, rude, and unnecessary. For example, I am growing a beard, I don't know if I am going to keep it or not, just experiementing. Last night, someone told me that I look horrible and should shave it off immediately. My response was simply, "I am trying to look more like Jesus." That was not what I wanted to say, but those were the words that came out.
The question then is this- how should we, as followers of Christ, respond to critics?
Let me know what you think.
4 comments:
Your beard does not look bad.
I am a people pleaser. I dislike being critical. I am not sure where critics get their brazenness. It really borders on having extremely poor manners!
I have witnessed that, many times at MH. It always floors me. I have kept quiet and kept my head down and pushed on. I avoid and try not to confront. It isn't the best way to handle critics. They are really
bullies and need to hear, "you have gone too far!". That takes real guts. I lack that trait.
I will just say, I am sorry for your hurt feelings. You deserve to be treated with more respect. You are loved!
i heard once that a critic is NOT someone who loves you or has your best at heart. Not someone who wants to see you succeed or thrive. Not someone who brings up an issue to help you grow or to understand you deeper.
With that definition of a critic...i say...ignore them. otherwise, i'd listen with an open mind/heart. sometimes, oftentimes easier said than done...and furthermore..hard to tell the difference!
i bet you look fabulous with a beard :) wish i were there to tug on it :) big hugs
I think it depends on who it is and what your relationship is. If i received criticism at work from a co-worker or my boss I would embrace it with a learning mindset and discuss it with them to make sure i understand where they are coming from and that they understand my perspective or reason, and usually we can agree on a solution. If someone makes criticism with intention to attack, then I usually tactfully respond without taking to heart because i know their intention is to get under my skin instead of actually working cooperatively towards a common goal. If the criticism is just something that someone has a personal preference or opinion about that differs from mine, it would probably depend on how much I care to please this person. Some people, including myself, can sometimes be control freaks about how something should be done, or how something should look, because they are 100% sure that they are right, because after all we've been their and know how. Bottom line, I think we know when the critic is on our side and what thier intentions are.
Leda, I agree that they are out of line, but would confronting their rudeness not then be rude on my part? or is it my responsibility?
Amy, I wish I could respond instantly with that attitude of this person is not really someone who cares for me, but I get too angry inside to be that rational. My external response is usually way better than my internal reality.
Steve, you have such a gentle spirit in your interactions with people, I wish that were natural for me
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